


Return-KuroKen Week 2017

by enbybby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Trans Kozume Kenma, Trans Male Character, kurokenweek, kurokenweek2017
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbybby/pseuds/enbybby
Summary: Kuroo believes this school year is going to be fantastic. He is the teaching assistant for a class with the cutest boy ever in it. Kuroo is convinced he is in love and very willing to do whatever it takes to get that boy’s attention. But, there is something kind of familiar about him…Kenma just started university with his best friend, Hinata. But, on his first day, he crosses paths with someone from his past; someone he never really expected to ever see again.





	1. Is it Still Love at First Sight if I've Seen You Before?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for KuroKen week 2017! Chapter 1 is Day 1: university AU

“Bo, I’ve fallen in love.” Tetsurou came running through the courtyard to where he had spotted his friends sitting in between classes. He stopped just in front of the bench where Akaashi sat practically in Bokuto’s lap. 

Normally, Tetsurou would have preoccupied himself trying to find someone else to talk to instead of interrupting them and facing Akaashi’s wrath for dividing Bokuto’s attention, but this was really important. This was a life-changing moment, and Tetsurou really needed to share it with his best friend. It isn’t everyday Tetsurou meets the love of his life. 

“Kuroo, you say that pretty much everyday,” Akaashi monotoned. Bokuto turned to face Tetsurou, jostling Akaashi’s place in his lap, much to Akaashi’s further annoyance. 

Tetsurou scoffed at Akaashi’s comment before retorting, “Oh, yeah? When have I ever said that before today?” with a tone full of disbelief. 

“The first time you met Sawamura-san, doing squats at the gym,” Akaashi responded while rolling his eyes. “And when he introduced you to Suga-san before you figured out they’re dating. And after the first time you saw Oikawa-san serve in person.” 

“That’s understandable, though,” Bokuto replied with glazed eyes, obviously remembering the beauty, before quickly shaking his head to clear it. “You also said you were in love with Keiji when we first met.” Akaashi scrunched up his nose in distaste.

Tetsurou rolled his eyes and cocked his hip to the side before dismissing the comment, “Everyone falls in love with Akaashi at first.” He smirked before continuing. “But that ends as soon as they get to know his crappy personality,” Tetsurou leered teasingly. 

Akaashi punched him in the gut while muttering, “Pain in the ass, Kuroo-san.”  
Bokuto wrapped his arm back around Akaashi to appease him, which seemed to work as Akaashi instantly leaned back into the embrace despite the angry pout not leaving his face. “So who is it this time?” Bokuto asked.

“Okay, first of all, this isn’t like those times. This is the real deal, actual love at first sight shit, so, jot that down.” His two friends waited for him to continue, which Tetsurou did, after a moment. He may have said it jokingly, but this time did feel different. When Tetsurou had looked up across the lecture hall and his eyes had landed on poorly bleached, long hair shadowing an adorable face with pouty lips and large eyes, he couldn’t look away. Tetsurou felt hooked immediately. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes off the cute boy throughout the entire lecture, and when the professor had finally stopped talking, his feet had directed him to where the pudding haired boy sat. Before he realized it, Tetsurou had introduced himself and found the eyes he had spent the past hour appreciating from across the room trained on him. He wanted to feel the heat of that gaze forever. 

Tetsurou knew his friends would notice the light blush that rose high on his cheeks at the mere memory of the boy. 

“His name is Kozume Kenma.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shouyou was having a fantastic first day at university. He had gotten to all of his classes on time, though he really did cut it close on some of them. All of his classes seemed interesting and his teachers had used his correct pronouns. Shouyou had even made a bunch of friends in each of his classes, people who seemed to be interested in him--well not like, like that kind of interested, y’know, Shouyou just meant that people were interested in him in general, y’know, like to be friends with him and stuff, al-although some of them he wouldn’t really be opposed to their interest, but it was just the first day, there was still time for-

“Shouyou.” 

He startled himself out of his thoughts, jumping at the sound of his best friend’s voice coming softly from directly in front of him. Shouyou looked up from where he was sitting on his bed in their shared dorm, blinking at the realization that, yup, Kenma was there, even though Shouyou hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Wahh, Kenma!” Shouyou jumped forward, wrapping his arms around Kenma’s shoulders and squeezing him close. Shouyou had missed Kenma. Because Kenma was taking a harder and longer course load than Shouyou, they wouldn’t ever really get to see each other on campus during the day. Kenma had been gone since before Shouyou was awake and he was practically buzzing in his skin to talk about their first day’s together. He couldn’t wait to tell Kenma about all the people he met, and how no one misgendered him, and how all his classes were super cool even if he did have to go all of the way across campus to get there-

“Shouyou,” Kenma grunted, lightly pulling Shouyou’s arms away from where they were clasped around his neck. 

“Kenma!” Shouyou backed out of his embrace, taking hold of Kenma’s shoulders instead, shaking him a little. “How was your day! Was it great! I missed you!” They were more exclamations than questions, really. 

Kenma took a small breath, before trying again, a little more firmly this time. “Shouyou.”

Shouyou’s bright smile fell as he finally saw the serious twinge to his friend’s usually impassive face. Shouyou felt a shiver run down his spine at that look. After ten years of friendship, he knew that Kenma wasn’t shaken easily. He knew that Kenma doesn’t let things get to him if they don’t matter. He knew that the slight urgent tremor in Kenma’s voice--so slight that he hadn’t noticed the first time--meant that something was seriously up. 

Shouyou ran his hands down from Kenma’s shoulders to his forearms, touching them gently this time. “What is it?” Shouyou whispered. 

Kenma released the breath he was holding and looked down at the floor. Shouyou noticed the way Kenma’s shoulders were weighed down and the tired look on his face; tired for reasons other than just a long day of classes. Shouyou moved them so that they were both sitting next to each other on Shouyou’s bed. He wanted to hold Kenma, but knew the other wouldn’t get the comfort from the contact Shouyou would intend, so settled for holding Kenma’s hand instead. 

Kenma stared at their joined hands as he began. “There was this guy in my calc class…” he started, quietly. Shouyou didn’t prompt him, instead squeezing Kenma’s hand slightly and waited for him to continue. Kenma hadn’t taken out his DS, Shouyou noticed. Whatever it was that happened--and Shouyou was trying very hard not to imagine which worst case scenario it could be--it was weighing heavily on Kenma’s mind. 

“He was obviously flirting with me,” Kenma continued. “That didn’t really bother me, though. He didn’t clock me, so I think it was genuine.” Shouyou watched as Kenma’s eyes flitted back and forth slightly, as he concentrated on finding the right words. 

Shouyou thought to lighten the situation by asking, “Was he cute?” Kenma’s eyes flicked up to his for a second, before looking back at where their hands lay together. 

Kenma’s mouth tilted up slightly at the corners as he murmured, “yeah.”

Shouyou loved Kenma more than anyone else, ever, and wanted more than anything to see him happy. Yeah Shouyou loved him, but not--not like that. Sometimes Shouyou thought it might be easier if they did love each other like that. But that just wasn’t how their relationship worked. Their relationship was perfect to Shouyou and he knew he wouldn’t lose Kenma just for some other boy. Shouyou wasn’t worried about losing Kenma. He was more worried about what that boy could do to Kenma, how he could hurt Kenma. How Shouyou couldn’t always be there to protect Kenma. He obviously hadn’t been there for whatever had Kenma so upset now. Shouyou waited for the rest of the story that he knew was coming. Kenma wasn’t usually the type to basque in the attention of a cute boy--not like Shouyou did anyway. He wasn’t shaken up just because some boy noticed him. No...it had to be something else. 

Kenma then seemed to regain his energy, back straightening slightly as he looked back into Shouyou’s eyes. 

“It was Kuroo.” Kenma said.

Shouyou was shocked for a minute. Whatever he had expected to hear, that wasn’t it. Sure, Kenma had told him all about Kuroo, everything that had happened and how much it hurt Kenma. Shouyou had been there to help Kenma through the pain, had been the shoulder to cry on when Kenma actually allowed himself to cry. Shouyou almost thought he would never hear that name again; it had been years since the last time Kenma had brought Kuroo up. Shouyou knew that wasn’t realistic. But he just wasn’t prepared for the reality that Kuroo actually went here, actually went to their school, actually had a class with Kenma. 

“Shit,” Shouyou whispered. No wonder Kenma looked wrecked. “And he didn’t recognize you?” 

Kenma held Shouyou’s gaze. Shouyou couldn’t decipher the look in Kenma’s eyes--Relief? Worry? Disappointment? Anticipation? 

“No,” Kenma said. “He didn’t recognize me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Kenma!” Tetsurou jogged over to where Kenma was putting his notebook away after their calculus lecture. Signing on as a teaching assistant for this class was the best decision Tetsurou had made in his life--and no, that wasn’t an exaggeration. Tetsurou had an hour and a half twice a week to unbiddenly stare at Kenma. To memorize the sharp press of his bones against his skin, through the rise of Kenma’s cheekbones and the angle of his jawline, and that one time Kenma’s oversized T-shirt had shifted out of place and given Tetsurou a furtive look at his beautiful collarbone. 

Tetsurou wasn’t a pervert. At least, not usually. 

He just somehow got caught up in Kenma’s entrancing glow. Tetsurou didn’t know how it happened. He had just walked into the lecture hall the first day of class, tired beyond the belief and seriously questioning his judgment for signing himself up to TA an 8 am lecture, when the caffeine finally cleared the fog in his mind and his eyes fell upon the most perfect person Tetsurou had ever seen. Tetsurou was hooked from that first class, and continued to be mesmerized in each class since then; mesmerized by the bored flick of Kenma’s eyes sweeping the lecture hall before being consumed with passion as he focused back on his DS. By the way his honeyed eyes spoke every emotion that his face refused to expose. How he looked young enough to be a first year but was in upper division math courses anyway. How his adorably crappily dyed hair fell across the round puff of his cheeks, the perfect golden frame for the masterpiece of his face. 

Tetsurou knew Akaashi would be rolling his eyes at him. Akaashi was a masterpiece on his own, and Tetsurou had a habit of surrounding himself with beautiful people. But Tetsurou took one look at Kenma and that was it. He wasn’t actually exaggerating when he told Bokuto he was in love. No one else had made him feel like this before. 

“Kenma, hey, how are you?” Tetsurou smiled down at Kenma, still in his seat. 

Kenma barely spared him a glance when he muttered, “fine. You?” 

Yeah, okay, the dismissal stung. Tetsurou was a little hurt. At first Tetsurou had written the distancing off as part of Kenma’s personality--that he was shy or introverted or socially anxious and would gradually warm up with time. But weeks had passed and Tetsurou hadn’t seen any warmth from Kenma. He caught a glimpse of something the day they first met, something in Kenma’s gaze he hadn’t expected to see. When Kenma had first looked at him, his eyes seemed to glow. But the look was gone before Tetsurou could identify it, and he was dying to see it again. 

“I’m good, better now that I’ve seen you,” Tetsurou responded, eyelids lowered, smirk firmly in place. He hoped it didn’t sound like a leer. He really hoped he wasn’t being creepy or making Kenma uncomfortable. He also hoped Kenma found his hair to be on the side of sexy, rather than messy. Tetsurou usually didn’t care how people saw him, even the people he was attracted to. The fact that he was insecure in his physical appearance now was a little worrying, but Tetsurou pushed that thought to the back of his mind: to be evaluated in the dark of his room when he can’t sleep at night. 

The only response he got that Kenma had even heard him beyond a hum of acknowledgement was the faint dusting of pink that rose on Kenma’s cheekbones--the cheekbones Tetsurou had been fantasizing about touching--first with his fingertips, then with his lips--for the past hour. Kenma stood up and began walking out of the room, Tetsurou at his heels like a hopeless puppy. 

Tetsurou didn’t want to have to wait until the next week to see Kenma’s face again, or to talk to him again. Tetsurou was desperate for some attention. It had been weeks since Tetsurou had professed his love to his friends, and he was getting antsy at how their relationship wasn’t developing at all. 

“Hey, uh, I’m going to meet my friend at the cafe right now. You can come if you want, I mean, if you aren’t busy.” Tetsurou had no idea where this bashfulness had come from. Tetsurou was usual so suave and confident, so well composed. What the hell was Kenma doing to him? Again, thoughts to reanalyze during his next bout of insomnia. 

Kenma paused, finally holding Tetsurou’s eye contact. Tetsurou tried not to let Kenma’s gaze affect him, but already he felt his neck warming. Tetsurou’s hope rose, that Kenma might actually say yes, that they could finally start getting closer outside the classroom. Whatever Kenma was looking for in Tetsurou’s expression, whatever he found on Tetsurou’s face, it seemed to please him. Kenma’s face softened and his eyes--those beautiful, emotive eyes--seemed to warm. 

“I have another class right now,” Kenma said softly, with what Tetsurou hoped was a touch of disappointment. Tetsurou tried to keep his shoulders from deflating at being turned down. 

“But…” Kenma started. “We could meet there before class next week. If you want.” 

Oh yes, Tetsurou very much did want. And the fact that it was Kenma offering exhilarated him. Yes, yes, absolutely...

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Tetsurou said, his smile more of an actual smile than his usual smirk. Kenma fidgeted, eyes still searching Tetsurou’s face, before taking out his phone. Tetsurou was used to the motion by now and assumed that Kenma was just playing another game. Tetsurou got the impression that playing games was sort of like stimming to Kenma, that it let Kenma’s mind focus and relax around other people. But then, to his surprise, the phone was being shoved in Tetsurou’s direction. 

“Um-”

“For your number,” Kenma interrupted. And then, just as flustered, continued, “just in case something comes up and I have to change our plans.” Kenma wasn’t looking at Tetsurou anymore. Instead, he was fixated on the phone that was still outstretched towards Tetsurou. If Tetsurou didn’t know any better, he’d think Kenma...liked him? 

Tetsurou snatched the phone quickly, inputting his number with his outstretched smile. He ended up checking it three times to make sure he typed it in correctly, then texted himself so he’d have Kenma’s number, too. Once Tetsurou had given the phone back to Kenma, he didn’t know what to do and instead smiled dopily at Kenma’s reaction to the black cat emoji Tetsurou had added into his contact name. 

Kenma apparently noticed the time on his phone, and the warmth that had ebbed it’s way into Kenma diminished. “I have to go to class now,” he said. 

“I should probably be going, too. I can already hear my friend complaining about making them wait, ‘Pain-in-the-ass-Kuroo-san.’” Tetsurou mimicked Akaashi’s voice perfectly, not that Kenma would have known. Tetsurou knew Bokuto would have laughed. Kenma would probably get along really well with his friends, Tetsurou thought. The idea of Kenma fitting well into his friend group pleased him immensely. 

Kenma looked up at Tetsurou and blinked. Like a cat, Tetsurou thought with admiration. I’ve been accepted. 

Cute.  
The corner of Kenma’s lip upturned slightly before he said, “Bye, Kuro.” 

As Kenma walked away towards his next class, Tetsurou watched him with adoration and anticipation so strong it was almost palpable. Tetsurou turned away, walking towards the cafe, absolutely elated. In the back of his mind, however, he couldn’t place the slight sense of familiarity becoming clearer. He was too caught up in his own elation to notice the nickname Kenma had called him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“YOU DID WHAT?” Hinata exclaimed. 

Kenma, unfazed by Hinata’s volume, simply continued playing on the PlayStation he had brought to their dorm. 

“I gave Kuro my number,” Kenma monotoned. Over Hinata’s shriek of indignation, he continued, “and we’re going to a cafe before next class.” 

“KENMA!” 

Kenma clicked his tongue as his character died on scream, “what.” 

“What if something happens?” Hinata started with trill in his voice. “I thought the plan was to lay low and engage from afar? What if he just wants to get in your pants? What if he doesn’t a-accept you? What if he remembers you? What if he hates you?” 

Although Hinata’s voice was getting louder and whinier as he continued, Kenma tuned him out. He knew Hinata meant well and was just worried. He knew Hinata cared about him and only wanted to keep him from getting hurt. And he knew that he had told Hinata about his...history with Kuroo. But Hinata didn’t know Kuroo. Kenma hadn’t met Hinata until after everything happened, when Kenma was still broken. 

Hinata didn’t know how Kuroo had always protected Kenma and taken care of him--just like Hinata did, really. And Hinata didn’t know how much it had hurt Kenma to see Kuroo again. How much it hurt to know his face but not be known in return. How each time Kuroo flirted had made Kenma’s blood race. He didn’t know that Kuroo had already started to retreat from Kenma, had already started backing off and losing interest. He didn’t know how much that dismissal had hurt Kenma--how frightening the idea of losing Kuroo for a second time was to Kenma. 

“Shouyou,” Kenma cut off his babbling. He paused his game and turned to Hinata, holding his gaze as he spoke. “I don’t know what will happen if he remembers me. I don’t know if he’ll hate me or accept me. But I can’t just keep being afraid of what might happened. I don’t want to lose Kuro. Not again.”

Kenma’s straightforward honesty gave Hinata pause. He seemingly contemplated continuing his argument before acquiescing. Hinata’s shoulders unwound as he said, “Okay, Kenma. If that’s what you want.”

Kuroo was what Kenma wanted. Even if he was still scared of what might happen if Kuroo remembered. Or if he never remembered. Kenma would just have to play the game to find out.


	2. Messing with my Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo and Kenma go to the cafe, but things don't really go as planned. Or do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Fantasy/Rain
> 
> cw: panic attack

Tetsurou turned from the pick up counter, carrying two large coffees with him back to where Kenma sat at the corner table in the university cafe. He was trying to put all of his focus into not spilling them on himself and looking like a complete fool, but even after several weeks of getting coffee with Kenma before class, Tetsurou still found himself getting lost in Kenma’s beauty.

Today Kenma wore a black and red rain jacket. But the best part, Tetsurou thought, was when Kenma had his hood up and Tetsurou found two vinyl cat ears attached. It was too adorable for Tetsurou to handle, he had immediately pushed them inside out of the rain to where Kenma could put his hood down and Tetsurou could regain some of his brain power.

Tetsurou tried to pull his mind back into the present, where he was trying to gracefully place the two mugs on the table without spilling. _So far so good. Great job, Kuroo._

Kenma looked up from his game at the soft _clack_ sound the mug made when it was set on the table, and moved to add his sugar. Tetsurou had tried to make his coffee for him before, but Kenma had told him the way he made it was still too bitter. Even though Tetsurou had added four packets of sugar.

Tetsurou sipped his black coffee as he watched Kenma pour sugar straight from the container into his coffee, bypassing the limitations of packet sugar completely. Why did Tetsurou find this adorable? Adding that much sugar was gross, and Tetsurou had had many arguments with Oikawa about it before. At one point there argument got so heated that Oikawa had refused to set the ball to Tetsurou for an entire week, and almost made them lose a game because of it. But when Kenma used that much sugar, Tetsurou couldn’t find it anything but adorable. Tetsurou thought Kenma’s sweet tooth was so cute--cute enough that it silenced the voice in his head telling him how unhealthy it was.

Tetsurou couldn’t really put his finger on it, but there was something about Kenma that just felt so _right_ to Tetsurou, almost perfect. He had never felt this infatuated with someone before. He certainly had never had to try this hard to get someone’s attention either--not that Kenma really ignored him. Tetsurou was just more used to his smoulder affecting people more than it did Kenma. And that intrigued Tetsurou. He wanted to know what it would take to get through to Kenma, to actually make him react to Tetsurou flirting. What could he do to make Kenma swoon? How can he impress Kenma?

There was something about their relationship, as new and tentative as it was, that felt so familiar to Tetsurou. He almost felt like he had known Kenma forever, rather than just a month. He felt like he had always been searching for that face, always had known it would be Kenma.

And yeah, Tetsurou was a little too in over his head and it was a little too early in the morning for these thoughts.

Just as Tetsurou was coming back from his consuming thoughts, Kenma’s gaze flicked up to meet Tetsurou’s. It wasn’t the first time he had been caught staring at Kenma, but it was still embarrassing.

Tetsurou coughed to cover up his blush and racked his brain for something to talk about. Anything to move on from the awkward bubble Tetsurou’s staring had put them in.

“So, what game are you playing?” Tetsurou asked. _Nice save_ , he thought. He had been meaning to ask about for a while now, had wanted to know the kind of games Kenma actually liked playing.

“Mm,” Kenma hummed. “It’s the newest version of this really popular fantasy game.” His voice was barely above a murmur, but Tetsurou didn’t miss any of it. Tetsurou tried to angle himself better in his chair to see Kenma’s screen, where he found Kenma’s character to be a huge muscular guy with a beard, trading spells with an ork.

“Oh yeah! I think I’ve played that one before.” Tetsurou rambled about everything he knew about the game, which, as he kept talking, was apparently more than he thought. Tetsurou kept talking despite Kenma staying focused on his game. He knew Kenma was listening. As they spent more time together, Tetsurou had noticed how easy it was for Kenma to pay attention to everything around him. It was so easy for Kenma to read him and understand him, even when Tetsurou thought Kenma was distracted.

“Y’know that game was my best friend’s favorite when we were little,” Tetsurou mused. His gaze had shifted away from Kenma to where the rain was still pouring outside as he reminisced. “She played one of the first versions of it, It think.” Tetsurou was too lost in his own thoughts to notice how uncomfortable Kenma was getting.

“Our families were so close, we were at each others house constantly growing up. Even when we were in elementary school, our parents swore we were going to get married,” Tetsurou shook his head and chuckled. “Obviously we won’t now.” Tetsurou didn’t feel he was ready to explain that part, so instead went back to the happy memories.

As he continued on, Kenma grew fidgety. His shoulders tensed. His knee started bouncing. His finger began to tap against the side of his screen instead of continuing the game. His eyes glazed over, losing their usual sharp edge.

But Tetsurou was lost in his own stories. He laughed remembering how he forced her to play outside with him instead of playing her video games. He smiled at the memory of her attempts to run faster than him, and then his own attempts at beating her in Mario Kart. Bokuto liked to tease Tetsurou about how lost he always gets once he starts talking about her, but Tetsurou can’t help it. They were the best of friends, until…

“She actually had the same family name as you, too,” Tetsurou said, looking back at Kenma. “Her name was Kozume -------”

Before Tetsurou had realized it, Kenma had jumped out of his chair, grabbed his bag and ran out the door.

He tried calling after him, but Kenma was apparently a lot faster than Tetsurou had expected. By the time Tetsurou had gathered up his own bag and had gone to follow Kenma, he had already lost all trace of him.

Tetsurou was so lost. Almost as if the weather could feel Tetsurou’s unhappiness, it began to rain harder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kenma didn’t really know where he was going. He wasn’t paying attention to where his feet were taking him, he just needed to get away--away from Kuroo and Kuroo’s memories and _that name_. Kenma hadn’t heard that name in what felt like forever. It physically hurt to hear that name.

That pain quickly became all he could feel. He couldn’t feel the rain falling on his jacket, the way it soaked through his hair and jeans. He couldn’t feel himself shaking, from the cold and his own emotions. He couldn’t feel the wall pressing into his back, or the damp puddle he sat in, or his own arms wrapped tightly around his legs.

Kenma didn’t know how long he sat there, trying to calm down. He didn’t know how long it took him to regain feeling, regain control of his thoughts and think to text Hinata where he was. There was no way Kenma could go to classes that day. He was emotionally exhausted and soaked and his brain was so tired from coming back from the dark place.

Hinata showed up what felt like hours later, but knowing how fast Hinata could run and how worried he would be for Kenma’s well being, was probably more like a couple of minutes.

Kenma didn’t know he was crying until Hinata was wiping away his tears.

Hinata held him in the rain until Kenma felt okay enough to stand. Then he held Kenma’s hand as he walked them back to their dorm. Hinata knew exactly what to do in situations like these. He had helped Kenma through his episodes before. Kenma knew he was able to relax and allow himself to rely on Hinata. For all his hyperactive excitability, Hinata knew how take care of Kenma. And he did so. He didn’t yell and fuss. He didn’t ask more of Kenma than he was ready to give.

Once they were back in the door, Hinata immediately began removing Kenma’s wet clothes as a last ditch attempt at keeping him from getting sick. Kenma zoned out as he felt his layers come off--jacket, shoes, socks, jeans, shirt.

“Kenma, please,” Hinata whispered, trying to pull Kenma’s hands away from where he was holding his binder down. “You have to take it off, you were hyperventilating. I want you to be able to breathe without hurting okay? That’s all.” Kenma knew this, knew that Hinata was right. He knew Hinata wouldn’t think anything of him; they see each other naked all the time, he will put on a baggy sweatshirt right after.

So, even though he didn’t want to, even though he wanted to keep his binder like a child’s security blanket, he let Hinata remove it.

And then he put on the baggiest sweatpants possible and crawled into bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: Kenma

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: I’m sorry

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: Where are you?

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: Please just let me know you’re okay

 

kenma: hi kuroo, this is hinata, kenma’s roommate!! he is in our dorm sleeping so he can’t respond rn

kenma: kenma can get socially overloaded sometimes

kenma: he just needs a break

kenma: i think he got sick bc of the rain, but he’s ok

kenma: he’s ok so just give him a lil space

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: Ok thank you

Kuroo ^wᴥΦ^: Tell him I’m sorry and I hope he feels better

kenma: yup!1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I just don’t know what I did wrong, Bo.”

Tetsurou wouldn’t say that he was sulking, but he was sulking. He was cuddled into the muscular embrace of his best friend and sulking.

“Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe something else happened that had nothing to do with you,” Bokuto comforted him. Tetsurou was basically spooned next to Bokuto on his friend’s couch. Tetsurou was worried when Kenma had ditched him at the cafe that morning, and that only increased when Kenma didn’t show up for class that day. He honestly didn’t know what happened--one moment they were chatting over coffee, and the next minute Kenma was gone.

And despite what Bokuto said, Tetsurou had the sinking feeling it was his fault. Kenma had ran out into the ran, and although his roommate had tried to settle his nerves, Tetsurou was still worried about him. If he really was okay, if he needed any support, if he never wanted to see Tetsurou again. Tetsurou really hoped he hadn’t made irreparable damage. Kenma hadn’t texted Tetsurou himself yet, but his roommate did say he was sick so maybe he was just sleeping and not ignoring Tetsurou.

Tetsurou moaned before asking almost too quiet for anyone to hear, “Am I a bad person?”

“No, Kuroo-san.”

Surprisingly, it was Akaashi’s definitive voice that responded from where he stood in the doorway. “Not even you know what happened, but we do know that you wouldn’t hurt him-or anyone-on purpose.”

Tetsurou wasn’t used to Akaashi singing his praises. He kind of just wanted to pity himself some more, but his worry for Kenma overpowered that.

“How do I make things better?” he asked.

“What if we go hang out as, like, a group next time?” Bokuto asked. “Maybe if the socializing isn’t so isolated he’ll be more relaxed. I know that helps me get more comfortable.” Akaashi walked further into the room and sat at the foot of the bed, one hand resting on Bokuto’s calf, the other tapping away on his phone.

Tetsurou wasn’t sure if that would help, and told his friends as much. But he still thought it was worth a shot, at least, if Kenma still wanted to hang out with him.

“He doesn’t seem to use social media very much, does he?” Akaashi mused.

“Kaashi, you’re not stalking him, are you?” Bokuto asked.

Akaashi’s glazed flitted to him for a second before ignoring him and returning to his phone. “I think if we do a group thing you should invite this kid that’s in all of his pictures, so he isn’t meeting a whole new group of people at once,” Akaashi said.

“...is it hina-something?” Tetsurou asked, vaguely remembering the name Kenma’s roommate gave him.

Akaashi hummed before responding, “I can’t find his name, but he’s tiny and has bright red hair. They both look vaguely familiar for some reason… oh his name is Hinata Shouyou. That’s cute.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Tetsurou sat up, already feeling more optimistic. “I can ask him and his friend to come with us. No big deal. That’ll be fine.” The brief positivity left as quickly as it came, Tetsurou’s shoulders sinking. “I just wish there was something I could do to make him feel better right now.”

Akaashi’s eyes sparkled as he looked up from his phone, apparently having found something very interesting.

“Maybe you _can_ do something.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kenma woke to someone banging loudly on his door. He had been sleeping pretty much nonstop since two days ago when he had panicked in the rain. Hinata had been taking care of him, feeding him, forcing him to shower and drink more water. Hinata had basically done everything for Kenma. He had even emailed Kenma’s teachers letting them know of his absence so it wouldn’t hurt his grade too badly. All Kenma had to do was lay in bed, which usually meant sleeping since his head hurt too much to actually play any games. He had barely mustered the energy to reply to Kuroo’s mysterious texts that morning when Hinata had woken him up to eat breakfast before Hinata had to leave for class.

Kenma was feeling better already, and would definitely be back in class next week. And that’s just what Kenma had told Kuroo when he had asked. At first, Kenma really thought that Kuroo would have connected the dots by now. He knew Kuroo was smart--not everyone was accepted into their school’s biochem program. So Kenma was pretty shocked to find that Kuroo really just seemed to be worried about him, rather than suspicious.

Whoever was knocking on his door was not letting up, and it was starting to bring Kenma’s headache back. He had no clue who it could be, the only person he thought would be checking up on him was Hinata and he had a key, so really there was no reason for this nonsense.

Kenma pushed himself out of bed, eyes blearily open as he shuffled his feet to the door. He opened it just as the person on the other side had started another flurry of knocking, cutting them off mid-motion.

“Kenma, hi! You look great!” Kenma blinked to clear his eyes. Either he was having a fever dream, or Kuroo was at his door. And Kenma knew for a fact that he did not look ‘great.’ Even though Hinata had managed to get Kenma to shower, he still was sleeping in the same gross sweats as two days ago, his hair was matted from where he laid on his pillow, his was covered in a layer of sweat, he probably had snot on his face, and really he just _felt terrible_ , so how could he possibly look great?

Kenma’s eyebrows threaded together as he tried to formulate a response, which ended up coming out as, “Kuro....wha?”

In lieu of answering, Kuroo mussed up Kenma’s hair further--Kenma cringed out how gross his sweaty scalp must feel under Kuroo’s long fingers--and wormed his way past Kenma into his dorm.

“I brought you gifts!” Kuroo said as he sat backwards on Hinata’s desk chair. Kenma noted how easy it was for Kuroo to make himself at home everywhere he went. That boy seemed to be comfortable everywhere. Having accepted Kuroo’s presence, at not entirely convinced this wasn’t really a fever dream, Kenma slithered back under his lump of blankets on his bed.

Kuroo started taking things out of the bag he was holding, showing them to Kenma with a proud curl of his lips. “Okay, so I got, like, a bunch of kinds of hot soup, and four different kinds of tea, and three oranges because vitamin C helps with a cold, I also brought medicine in case you didn’t have any or were running out or whatever.”

Kenma blinked from his position on his bed, barely following Kuroo’s rapid fire speech.

“But here comes the fun part, okay? This won’t actually help with your cold but a little birdy told me that you always feel better after eating apple pie-”

Kenma sat straight up, blankets falling off him entirely and onto the floor. “Apple pie?” He asked, eyes open wider than they had been in days, suddenly feeling very focused.

“Yeah,” Kuroo’s grin widened as he pulled out a wrapped pie tin that Kenma could already smell, still freshly baked. “Some of my friends work at a bakery, so they helped me make this. It’s not as good as the one’s they sell, but…”

Kenma was already making grabby hands at the pie, impatiently waiting for Kuroo to just _hand it over already_.

Kuroo started to do just that, before pulling back slightly making Kenma huff in disappointment. “If I give you this, are you going to kick me out, or can I hang out while you eat?”

Kenma leaned forward and snatched the pie from Kuroo, begrudgedly replying, “you can stay.”

And so, Kuroo spent the rest of the afternoon with Kenma in all of his contagious glory. For whatever reason, Kenma thought Kuroo seemed absolutely content to just sit there and talk to Kenma, even though his stuffy nose made his voice sound weird, and even though he was sure he looked gross, and even though Kenma could name better ways for Kuroo to be spending his time. Still, Kuroo happily sat there as they talked about classes, about high school, about their friends and their favorite animals--cats, unanimously. They talked about Kenma’s desire to work in video games, and Kuroo’s hope to keep playing volleyball somehow after college.

They talked more than Kenma thought he had talked to someone other than Hinata in a long time. And Kenma thought that felt...nice. Talking to Kuroo felt really good, as good as seeing he had a variety of smirks for different occasions, as good as hearing his husky laughter, hearing the way it spilled up out of him like a surprise each time. As good as seeing Kuroo be entirely free with sharing his emotions. As good as seeing Kuroo blush and run his hands through his already wrecked hair when he was embarrassed. As good as hearing Kuroo say _Kenma_.

Kenma was still thinking about these things hours after Kuroo had left. He couldn’t deny how much better Kuroo’s visit had made him feel. He couldn’t deny how good Kuroo made him feel.

Just as Kenma was falling back asleep, he thought, _Ah. I think I_ like _Kuroo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still need to edit this, but I wanted to be able to post this on time~~  
> I'm not as happy with my writing this chapter but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ohhh wellll tomorrow's update will be better   
> if you are confused, all will be explained very soon


	3. Neko-topia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to a cat cafe!

Tetsurou was certain he was having the best day ever. 

Ever since Tetsurou had convinced Kenma to come hangout with his friends--which was surprisingly easier than he had expected--he had been impatiently waiting for their schedules to meet up. Between working and midterms and volleyball practice, they all had finally found a Saturday to meet up. Of course, Tetsurou and Kenma had continued having their weekly coffees before class, which had gone off without a hitch since Kenma had run out. 

Tetsurou still didn’t know what had happened, and although he was extremely curious--anxious even--about what had caused Kenma to freak out, he didn’t ask. Kenma was okay now, and Tetsurou trusted him to say if he said something wrong. He trusted Kenma to know his own limitations and to tell Tetsurou if he breached them. So, Tetsurou left it alone. 

And things had been great ever since he had hung out in Kenma’s dorm with him while he was sick. Ever since they had finally had enough time to actually get to know each other, could have deep conversations beyond the limitations of quick coffee before class. Ever since Tetsurou actually had been given the chance to get closer to Kenma, their relationship had been amazing. Every day, Tetsurou was amazed at the ease of Kenma’s witty texts, enchanted by the tiny waves Kenma sent his way during class, addicted to the flush of Kenma’s cheeks at Tetsurou’s lechering. 

And now they were finally hanging out  _ outside of school _ . Even though their friends were there, Tetsurou considered this a big step in their relationship. 

Tetsurou looked around at the white Persian cat sitting in his own lap, at Akaashi taking pictures of the Siamese cat playing with the toy Bokuto held, at Hinata chasing after a Russian Blue that was chasing a toy itself, and then at Kenma. 

Kenma, who was slowly being buried under cat after cat as they kept piling on, much to Kenma’s joy. He wasn’t really smiling, not like Bokuto’s broad grin or Hinata’s blinding smile. No, Kenma didn’t smile with his mouth--he smiled with his eyes. And right now, as Kenma lay in a literal pile of cats, his eyes were practically  _ glowing _ . 

Tetsurou didn’t think he would ever see anything more beautiful. 

“Whoever decided to go to a cat cafe was a genius!” Hinata exclaimed from where he was now crawling alongside a maine coon. 

Knowing how they had all abandoned their drinks and snacks the moment a cat had walked up to them, Tetsurou had to think everyone was in agreement. 

“It was Keiji’s idea!” Bokuto said proudly, wrapping an arm around Akaashi and snuggling him against his side. Akaashi was too preoccupied trying to keep hold of the cat Bokuto’s movement had dislodged to be embarrassed by the fondness in Bokuto’s voice. 

“Thank you, Akaashi-san,” Kenma said, voice in awe as he watched the sleeping animals covering his body. “I never want to leave.” 

“Why don’t you get a cat?” Tetsurou asked. “We could smuggle one into the dorms, the RAs wouldn’t suspect a thing.”

Tetsurou didn’t miss Kenma’s small huff of laughter over the boisterous conversation that followed. He was joking, but Tetsurou was willing to break any rules it took to keep the light in Kenma’s eyes. He didn’t think he ever wanted to leave either. 

 

 

Unfortunately, they did have to leave eventually. After leaving, they decided to all walk back to campus together. Tetsurou was amazed at how easy it was for Hinata and Kenma to blend in with Tetsurou’s friends. He watched Hinata bounce along in front of Akaashi and Bokuto in front of where he was walking next to Kenma. They couldn’t all fit together on the sidewalk, but Tetsurou was pleased with the arrangement. 

“It’s like they adopted a new puppy,” Tetsurou noted. That was really what Bokuto and Akaashi looked like, walking Hinata, keeping him from straying too far away, cooing at his excitement. In a certain light, Tetsurou swear he saw Bokuto and Hinata with wagging tails coming out of their butts. 

“Would you believe he’s like this all of the time?” Kenma murmured. 

Yeah, Tetsurou could believe that. He could see Hinata’s tireless energy lasting eternal. Part of Tetsurou wanted to protect the small ball of sunshine so that his light never dimmed. But another part of him… another part of him was picturing Hinata buzzing around Kenma, how Kenma seemed to glow from his warmth, how Hinata’s contagious positivity infects Kenma’s apathy, how comfortable and happy Hinata so obviously makes Kenma. So yeah, Tetsurou thought Hinata was great, but he also was maybe just a tiny little bit jealous. 

Tetsurou cleared his throat in attempt to also clear his thoughts before asking, “So, how long have you known each other?” 

“Since we were little,” Kenma started. “I had some...family problems and I moved to his neighborhood. I was a new kid and he ran right up to me and claimed me as his best friend.” The corner of Kenma’s lips turned up slightly at the memory. 

“Aww, that’s real cute. And you’ve been in love ever since, right?” Tetsurou asked before he could stop himself. 

“W-what?” Kenma sputtered, face heating up immediately. “No way. Hinata is more like… like a brother, I guess.” 

Tetsurou hummed in response, the response not entirely soothing his worries. 

Kenma tugged on his shirt sleeve to get his attention. 

“Hinata and I love each other but we aren’t together. We’re just friends,” Kenma spoke with full eye contact, making his message clear. 

The direct response startled Tetsurou for a second. Was Kenma trying to imply something? That Tetsurou might actually have a chance? Or did he just not want Tetsurou to keep teasing him? 

Tetsurou felt the slow smile growing on his face turn quickly into a smirk, “Of course, if you two cuties were dating, you’d be too perfect. The envy of everyone, totally unfair.” He spoke in attempt to redirect the serious turn their conversation had taken. “If you were together it’d be too pure, too good for this world. Who would date the rest of us ugly kids?”

Kenma snorted and muttered, “shut up, Kuro.” But his eyes were still smiling. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kenma wasn’t necessarily surprised at how much he liked Kuroo’s friends. He knew Kuroo had always had a pretty good judge of character, Kuroo wouldn’t spend time with bad people. However, Kenma was surprised at how much Kuroo’s friends seemed to like him. Sure, Hinata got along well with them, but who doesn’t get along with Hinata? Kenma on the other hand, very few people found their way into his life. Most people were put off by his closed off behavior. Which was fine to Kenma, was aware of how people saw him. He just couldn’t change who he was for people to like him. He had tried that before.

So Kenma was a little surprised to find himself added to a new group chat that he was actually  _ participating  _ in. Ever since their trip to the cat cafe, Kenma had been getting closer and closer to Bokuto and Akaashi. And Kuroo. Shockingly, Kenma didn’t feel awkward around them. No, Kenma felt like he had known them for years, like that vacant spot in their friend group had just been waiting for Kenma to fill it. And Kenma was really enjoying making new friends. So when Akaashi had asked if he and Hinata had wanted to go and watch Bokuto and Kuroo’s volleyball game together, Kenma had agreed. 

At first, he had been reluctant. Sports events full of big, loud crowds weren’t Kenma’s thing. But if he had Hinata and Akaashi, he would probably be fine. Plus, he could watch Kuroo play. And meet more of his friends. So Kenma had been looking forward to going. 

When he arrived with Hinata, Kenma was surprised to find the stadium relatively empty. As Akaashi explained, the volleyball team wasn’t very popular at their school, so lots of people usually only came when the team made playoffs. Which, apparently, was very rare. But Akaashi said they had good chances this season. 

Kenma could see why, too. Even though he didn’t know much about volleyball, it was still clear to him that Bokuto and Kuroo and a few other players--like that pretty Oikawa-san with the scary serve, or Nishinoya-san who seemed to be able to receive anything--that their team was pretty skilled. 

Kenma actually found himself having a good time. Hinata quickly became addicted to the sport as Akaashi explained the rules to him throughout the match. Kenma even liked the new people Akaashi had introduced them to--Sugawara-san and Sawamura-san, who Kenma had already labeled the Parent Couple, Iwaizumi-san, whose kind words did not match his rough exterior at all, Kiyoko-san and Yachi-san, who were a little quiet and Kenma had found an unspoken camaraderie with. 

But Kenma’s favorite part was watching Kuroo play. When he was on the court, Kuroo’s face was so serious, he almost looked like a different person. But no, it was still Kuroo. Kuroo’s lithe form moving around the court, Kuroo’s long arms stretching up into the perfect blocking formation, Kuroo’s long fingers passing the ball to teammates, Kuroo’s wide hands spiking another point. Kenma was kind of mesmerized by the way Kuroo’s hair refused to deflate, despite all of the sweating and moving around. 

Kenma kind of wanted to run his hands through sweaty hair, compare the lengths of their fingers, have Kuroo teach him how to set the ball so Kenma could see him spike up close. Kenma kind of wanted to know what that long torso would feel like pressed against his own, if wide palms were warm to the touch, how knobby knees would feel through the press of his lips. Kenma wanted to know…

The final buzzer blared through the stadium, jarring Kenma from his thoughts. Kenma was glad that line of thinking was caught off before it got out of control. He blinked as the new friends surrounding him cheered for the win, then got up to go meet the players on the court. Kenma followed along with them and found himself face to face with the sweaty smirk he had been daydreaming about. 

“Kenma! I’m so glad you made it,” Kuroo shouted at him, jogging over with his sports bag. 

“Congrats on your win,” Kenma replied, earning an even wider grin from Kuroo in response. 

“I didn’t think we were going to make it through that last set, if I’m being honest. But then Oikawa gave his usual motivational speech during the timeout, and Bokuto came out of his slump, so it was fine.” 

Kenma hummed for a second before replying. “You did good, too.” 

Kuroo’s eyes seemed to sparkle at Kenma’s compliment, however half-assed it was. His grin grew teasing, “Aw, couldn’t keep your eyes off of me, couldya?” 

“No,” Kenma replied, the tops of his cheeks dusting pink at his bold admission. He didn’t know why he said that. He usually wouldn’t have been so honest. But Kenma kind of wanted to know what he thought about Kuroo, wanted him to be aware of his longing. 

Kuroo stuttered to a stop from where they had been making their way out of the stadium. His grin had fallen, but the sparkle in his eyes had remained. 

“Kenma,” he started, quietly, searching Kenma’s face for the answer to a question yet to be asked. Kuroo cleared his throat and started again. “Kenma,” he said again, more firmly this time. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” 

Kenma looked up at Kuroo’s face. Kuroo’s long nose and his soft, wild hair. Kuroo’s sharp grin and his even sharper gaze. Kuroo’s open face, hopeful eyes. Kenma looked at him and saw the charming student he had gotten to know lately. He saw the friend he knew as a child, asking him for attention to play outside. He saw the insecure clench in Kuroo’s jaw as he waited for an answer. But mostly, he saw the pure kindness, acceptance, and admiration Kuroo felt for him clear as day. Kuroo honestly, truly liked Kenma. Kuroo didn’t simply want to get in Kenma’s pants or play with his head. Kuroo just wanted exactly what he was asking for-a date. 

And who was Kenma to say no to that? 

Kenma saw the slow, fond smile that blossomed on that face in response to his own words and was confident he was making the right decision. 


	4. He's the One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Soulmates
> 
> Kenma has an announcement, and Kuroo has a realization. 
> 
> (this chapter has implicit references to sex at the very end)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this is kinda a lot shorter than the other chapters and also posted very late but it is finished and I like it how it is

shouyou: i think u shud just tell him kenma!! 

shouyou: hes SUPER into u, i think itll all go fine

KENMA: i think i’ll tell him soon

KENMA: keeping things from kuro is exhausting

KENMA: and he keeps getting handsy when we make out

shouyou: LOL kenma uve been dating for lyk

shouyou: an entire month already

shouyou: i cant believe u havent gone past just making out yet

KENMA: well

KENMA: i want to

KENMA: but i want to tell him first

KENMA: atleast tell him...the first part

KENMA: see how well kuro takes it

KENMA: and then tell him the rest of it

shouyou: U SHUD

shouyou: he already feels all BWAH about u

shouyou: this wont change anything

  
  
  


“I go to the bathroom for two seconds, and you’re already ignoring me for Shrimpy-chan,” Kuroo teased, sitting next to Kenma on his couch. 

Kenma huffed a small laugh in response that made the hair in front of his face sway from where his head was still pointed at the phone in his lap. Kuroo continued before Kenma had a chance to respond, slipping his hand through bleached hair and tucking it behind Kenma’s ear. 

“I think I know a way to steal your attention back, though,” he said, leaning forward with a dangerous glimmer in his eye that Kenma was already getting used to meaning he was about to be kissed. 

Kenma was also getting used to how much he liked kissing Kuroo. How perfectly their lips slotted together, how Kuroo seemed to just know just how hard to press his teeth against Kenma’s bottom lip, just how much pressure to put against his mouth, just how much tongue wasn’t too much tongue. Kenma liked kissing Kuroo, liked the warmth of his mouth and how Kuroo’s torso felt underneath Kenma’s palms, liked the slide of Kuroo’s hands against his arms and back and stomach and--and nowhere else. 

If Kuroo touched anywhere else, Kenma would stop him and move his hand back to a safe area before continuing. It wasn’t that Kenma didn’t want Kuroo to touch him in...other places. He just had to tell Kuroo first. Otherwise there were bound to be somethings Kuroo probably wasn’t expecting to feel. 

As Kuroo continued to press kisses along Kenma’s jawline and cheeks, down his neck to his collarbones, Kenma found his thoughts drifting back to Hinata’s words. Hinata said Kuroo liked him. Hinata said Kuroo wouldn’t care. Hinata said telling Kuroo wouldn’t ruin their relationship. And though Hinata wouldn’t be considered one of the smartest people, Kenma knew he was honest. Hinata wouldn’t lie to him. So, maybe Hinata was right. Maybe Kenma would be fine telling Kuroo. Maybe Kuroo would actually react well.

Kuroo pulled back from the hickey he was making on the soft spot behind Kenma’s ear, sighing deeply. “Y’know, I can basically hear you thinking.” 

Kenma blinked softly, bringing himself out of his thoughts. 

“We can stop if you aren’t into it,” Kuroo said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice but failing. 

“No,” Kenma muttered, sliding himself into Kuroo’s lap. From his heavy panting, flushed cheeks, and dilated pupils, anyone could tell that he was indeed into it. “No, I don’t want to stop.”

Kuroo smiled before leaning back in to kiss Kenma again, only to be stopped by a soft push against his chest. “I just...I need to tell you something first.” 

Kuroo pulled back out of Kenma’s space, although he was still placed firmly across Kuroo’s thighs. Kenma tried to keep his face composed as he felt Kuroo’s gaze sweep over him, searching obviously for whatever had Kenma acting so seriously. Either he found what he wanted, or Kenma hadn’t given anything away because Kuroo simply let his shoulders drop and nodded for Kenma to continue. 

Kenma shifted at the weight of Kuroo’s gaze and thought to just get it over with, without delaying anymore, like ripping off the bandaid. He stared into Kuroo’s eyes, fully open out of their typically half-shut fashion in anticipation. Kenma looked at Kuroo and saw how much Kuroo cared about him, saw the attraction and adoration in his gaze along with the small insecurity that was growing as the silence continued. Kenma stared for one second longer, wanting to remember the warmth he felt coming from Kuroo in this moment, before opening his mouth.   
  
  


 

“I’m trans.” 

  
  
  


“...and I-”

 

“Okay,” Tetsurou interrupted. 

Kenma blinked at him, teeth clacking shut. “Okay?” 

“I mean, yeah,” Tetsurou said. “I really like you, and you not being cis doesn't change that.” He rambled on, “and besides, I’ve been with trans people before, y’know, so I’d like to think I know how to be a decent partner. I mean, not that I’m a slut or anything, I don’t just like, have sex with anyone, not that doing that is bad-”

Kenma cut him off with a small tap of fingertips to Tetsurou’s lips. He blinked, actually taking in the small smile Kenma wore and the shakiness of his hands where they touched Tetsurou. 

“Sorry,” he said. “Just, ya know, it’s no big deal.” 

As Tetsurou said that, he realized truly how much not-a-big-deal it really was to him. The past few weeks of being together with Kenma had been amazing. Holding Kenma’s hand and making Kenma laugh and that spark of affection that he always held in his eyes as he looked at Tetsurou. Kissing Kenma, and having Kenma kiss him back. Taking Kenma on dates, watching Kenma play video games, helping Kenma study for his classes. All of it had been amazing. Being with Kenma just felt so right. So yeah, Kenma being trans didn’t change Tetsurou’s affection. 

“Kenma,” Tetsurou started, wrapping his arms around Kenma’s waist and bringing him closer. “I like you. Like a lot. Like a ridiculous amount. Being someone you care about is one of the best things I could be. I almost feel like I was waiting for you to come into my life, because I’ve never met a more perfect person for me.” Tetsurou bit his tongue down on the word soulmates. They had only been dating for, like, a month. Tetsurou didn’t want to get too hasty. 

Instead, he bumped his nose against Kenma’s, repeating himself by saying, “I really like you, okay?” 

Kenma’s shoulders seemed to tense further. He evaded Tetsurou’s attempts at eye contact, quickly curling into himself. Tetsurou had no idea what had caused that response, he had tried to be so supportive. Unless, maybe it wasn’t anything Tetsurou had said at all, maybe it was…

“Has someone been shitty to you after you told them?” Tetsurou demanded, voice hardened. “Has someone hurt you after you told them?” 

Kenma seemed to shake himself out of wherever his thoughts had taken him, the fog lifting from his eyes and coming back into sharp focus. He huffed a laugh, lips quirking up into a grin before leaning back into where Tetsurou was angrily pouting and kissing the spot between his eyebrows that were scrunched together. The action had Tetsurou’s anger quickly deflating, but gaze still searching Kenma’s face. 

“No, Kuro,” he said, lips softly pressing down his face, along a sharp nose and across sharp cheekbones towards his ear. “There’s only ever been you,” Kenma whispered, gently biting Tetsurou’s earlobe and bringing Tetsurou’s hands down past his stomach. 

Tetsurou found himself lost in the movement of a quick wrist and delicate fingers, eyelids fluttering at Kenma’s euphoric effect on him. He found a new form of pleasure reciprocated in the small noises from the back of Kenma’s throat, the tiny quiver overtaking Kenma’s entire body. Tetsurou lost himself in the sweet feel of skin against skin, the warmth of shaking breath against his lips, the perfect way their bodies fit together, the flawless way Kenma chanted “Tetsu,” in his ear. 

Tetsurou found his mind completely clearing of all thoughts, brain emptying to make room for all of his physical pleasure, leaving only one clear idea in its wake. 

 

_ I love him.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they fuck on the couch
> 
> also trans boy kenma is my fav hc i love him almost as much as kuroo does


	5. Fissure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma finally meets Kuroo's baker friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo i meant for this to be finished over a week ago. 
> 
> Oh well. Even though kuroken week is technically over, I'm still going to finish this fic. So I hope y'all still wanna read it. 
> 
> CW for this chapter: I'm not sure how to tag this but, if you are uncomfortable with really bad arguments, I would just skip this chapter. Also, there is unintentional misgendering
> 
>  
> 
> Without further ado: day 5- bakery

Kenma wasn’t avoiding studying. Despite what Kuroo said, no, Kenma was not avoiding studying. Not really. He just...didn’t want to do it. Didn’t see the point. Would rather spend his time doing better things. Like beating the boss in his new game. Or making out with Kuroo. But currently, Kuroo was withholding both of those from Kenma.

Kuroo, that sneaky fucker, had distracted Kenma enough to steal his phone _and_ his DS. Then he refused to kiss Kenma. Which was kind of upsetting. Kenma _liked_ kissing Kuroo. Like, really liked kissing Kuroo. And he knew Kuroo liked kissing him back. So, yeah, each time Kuroo turned his face away from Kenma’s lips or moved Kenma out of his lap or held Kenma’s hands together to prevent them from wandering, Kenma got a little pissed off. Kuroo’s pointless insistence that Kenma should “focus on his classes” and “try a bit harder with studying” or “open his textbooks, at the very least,” had not moved Kenma’s stubborn laziness.

So, when Kuroo came back to find Kenma angrily pouting at the wall, resolutely avoiding all of his schoolwork, he had taken a little pity on him. Kuroo decided to make a compromise. He told Kenma that if he bought him an apple pie at the bakery his friends work at, then Kenma would actually start studying. And so, Kenma had acquiesced. Only in the name of apple pie. Not because Kuroo had a persuasive puppy dog look. And certainly not because that look was effective of Kenma.

Nope.

This was how Kenma found himself being pulled along the sidewalk by Kuroo, which, really was not an altogether unusual experience. Except, usually, Kuroo pulled him to keep Kenma from running into things while looking at his phone. Now, it was because Kenma was still kind of putting up a fight against their compromise, even if it meant no apple pie. Kenma was dragging his feet and setting his weight on his heels while Kuroo pulled excitedly ahead, yammering on about getting to see his friends again.

Kenma found Kuroo’s rambling kind of adorable and his tangible excitement very cute, until Kuroo said the names of their friends.

_Lev and Yaku._

Kenma remembered Yaku from when they were little. The shorter, angrier boy that he and Kuroo had played with every once and awhile. Kenma had always liked being friends with Yaku as a kid. He didn’t remember anyone named Lev though. But, Kenma was really hoping neither of them would remember him.

Because he hadn’t actually told Kuroo that part yet. He wanted to. He meant to tell him right after he told Kuroo he was trans. But then, he had gotten distracted. And Kuroo had been so supportive and wonderful and had made Kenma cum so hard. So, Kenma had pushed it off. And pushed it off. And pushed it off…

Kenma knew he just needed to just suck it up and tell Kuroo.

_Hey, ya know that childhood friend you keep telling me about? The one that ran away from home when you were 8 and you never heard from again? The one you could never find on social media? The one with the same family name as me? Well, surprise! That was me! Ha ha, funny story, huh?_

Yeah, no.

Because, you see, everything was going so _well_ with Kuroo. Kuroo was Kenma’s best boyfriend ever. And that would still be true even if he had had any serious boyfriends aside from Kuroo. Kenma just didn’t want Kuroo to see him differently. Didn’t want him to see Kenma as that little “girl” he grew up with. Didn’t want him to hate Kenma for leaving. Didn’t want him to leave Kenma.

And so Kenma kept putting it off. Even though he knew he shouldn’t. Even though he knew it would come back to bite him in the ass eventually. And now, that might actually be happening. If Yaku recognized Kenma, and said something in front of Kuroo…

No. Nope. Kenma wasn’t going to think about that. That wouldn’t be a problem. He looked very different from himself over ten years ago. 19 year old Kenma had bleached blond, chin length hair where 7 year old Kenma had shoulder length brown hair. 19 year old Kenma had been on puberty blockers and had taken testosterone for three years, where 7 year old Kenma was slight and effeminate and, ya know, presented as a girl. Kenma assured himself everything would be fine. Hell, if Kuroo hadn’t recognized him, he was sure Yaku wouldn’t. Kuroo spent way more time with Kenma than Yaku had. So there was probably very, very little chance of that happening. No, Yaku would just know him as Kuroo’s new boyfriend and nothing else.

Walking up to the entrance following Kuroo’s lead, Kenma calmed his breathing and tried to match the brilliant grin Kuroo shot towards him as they walked through the door.

_Everything will be fine._

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tetsurou was so excited to introduce Kenma to Lev and Yaku. Introducing Kenma to his friends had become one of Tetsurou’s favorite things to do. He loved showing Kenma off, loved how he would blush in the face of Tetsurou’s pride.

 _Look, at this gorgeous, amazing boy. And he’s_ mine.

Tetsurou was even more excited to show Kenma off to his high school friends. The two had been dating for, like, ever and Tetsurou wanted to show up their relationship just a little bit. He and Kenma were obviously way more of relationship goals than Lev and Yaku Tetsurou just knew it. And he wanted to rub it in their _smug, romantic faces._

But he also wanted to introduce his boyfriend to his oldest friends. He wanted to finally be able to show the people he had grown up with, _look at this amazing person! He likes me! We’re together!_ Tetsurou wanted to show Lev and Yaku how happy he was, now, with Kenma.

And also he had bribed Kenma with pie. So there was that too. Pie, childhood friends, and new boyfriend. Tetsurou couldn’t think of anything better.

As they walked through the entrance, he could tell his excitement was visible on his face. He knew Kenma could read him easily, knew Kenma could tell this was important to Tetsurou. He knew Kenma would indulge him, be patient with Tetsurou showing him off--as long as he got some pie.

“KUROO!” He heard Lev shout from the counter. “MORI, KUROO IS HERE!” Lev yelled into the back, to which they heard a loud crash and irritable grumbling in response.

Lev turned back to Tetsurou, grinning broadly. “It’s been so long! Kuroo, you never make time for us anymore. Just the other day, Mori was crying about missing y-”

His hyper chatter was cut off by a grunt as he was kicked in the butt.

“I wasn’t crying, Lev, don’t tell people that shit,” Yaku intoned grumpily. He walked passed Lev’s crumpled form on the floor towards where Tetsurou had dragged Kenma up to the counter.

Tetsurou leaned his torso over the counter, stretching his arms outwards towards Yaku. “Aw, Yaku, I knew you cared!” he sing-songed, to which Yaku scoffed in response.

He pushed Tetsurou off of the countertop back to the other side of the register before replying in full monotone “To what do we owe the honor of your presence today, Kuroo?”

Tetsurou’s grin tugged higher on his face while he placed his arm around Kenma’s shoulders, bringing Yaku’s attention to him for the first time. “I wanted to get my _boyfriend_ some pis, and thought it was time to introduce you to my _boyfriend.”_

Lev piped up from his position still on the floor recovering from his wounds, “Right, I heard you were dating someone!”

Tetsurou glanced down at Kenma, expecting to see an annoyed blush and an angry pout that he could tease him for. But Tetsurou didn’t find what he expected on Kenma’s face. Instead, Kenma looked almost...scared. Instead of a rosy flush, Kenma looked paler than usual. Instead of a pout, his lips formed more of a firm grimace. Kenma’s eyes weren’t playful or pleading with Tetsurou. Kenma wasn’t even looking at Tetsurou. His gaze kept flickering from the floor to where Yaku stood across the counter.

 _Is he afriad of Yaku?_ Tetsurou thought. _I mean, I know he’s aggressive and play fights with Lev all of the time, but Yaku is hardly intimidating._ Tetsurou even noted the height difference between them; even his tiny boyfriend was taller than Yaku. So what was going on? He tried squeezing Kenma’s arm to catch his attention, but Kenma was resolutely avoiding his gaze.

Tetsurou turned to Yaku to try and clear the situation, but was even more shocked at the look he found on Yaku’s face. A flurry of confusion, hope, denial, astonishment crossed Yaku’s face rapidly as he looked at Kenma. Tetsurou’s eyebrows scrunched up further at whatever weird thing was going on with them. He opened his mouth to say something when Yaku spoke first, shakily, barely louder than a whisper.

 

“Kozume-kun?”

 

Kenma jerked backwards, an apparent subconscious flight response to--to what? To the fact that Yaku knew his name?

Tetsurou’s mind whirled trying to process--they knew each other? Why were they acting so weird? Before he could settle his thoughts, Lev shot up, finally pulling himself from the floor.

“KOZUME? Like, that girl you guys grew up with?” Lev oriented himself and turned to look at Kenma, who was trying to make himself as small as possible; scrunched shoulders, arms crossed over his stomach, head bowed.

“WOW it is you!” Lev continued. “I almost didn’t recognize you--cus the bleached hair and all--but wow you almost look exactly like the picture’s they’ve shown me! Wow, Kuroo, why didn’t you tell us you found her?”

Tetsurou’s head was going a million miles an hour, thinking far too fast for any one thought to stick long enough to feel anything beyond confusion, and--and what? Betrayal? Anger? Denial? He felt himself pull away from Kenma’s now shaking form as Lev prattled on, unaware of the frozen state the other three had been thrown into.

This wasn’t--Kenma couldn’t be--but it kinda made sense. It explained why Tetsurou felt like he had known Kenma for forever. Explained why their relationship, although brand new, still felt so familiar. Explained why Kenma froze up whenever Tetsurou started talking about--about _him._ About Kenma. Kenma, before he had run away. Kenma, before he socially transitioned. Kenma, before he had left Tetsurou without saying anything, without even saying goodbye.

Kenma _knew._ Kenma knew how much Tetsurou missed their memories together, knew how much he adored their current relationship. He knew how Tetsurou felt about him now, how Tetsurou had felt about him as kids. And he never said anything. He had never so much as hinted to Tetsurou, “ _oh hey, yeah, by the way, that girl who caused your abandonment issues and prompted childhood trauma? That’s me! Surprise!”_

No, Kenma hadn’t said anything. Even though he had known from the beginning, from the first day of the year when Tetsurou had introduced himself.

He could have said something then, but he hadn’t. He could have told Tetsurou at any point, and he didn’t.

Tetsurou couldn’t help but feel betrayed, again. The newfound trust he had put into their relationship was gone. How could he trust someone who had left him without a word? Someone who never fessed up to it later?

And what was it all for? If Kenma knew who he was, was their entire relationship a lie? Had Kenma been playing him, leading him on this whole time just to break him apart again?

Tetsurou’s pain and fear and confusion was quickly consumed by overwhelming anger as he brought himself back into the present--back to where Yaku was still frozen, and Lev was looking at them confusedly, and Kenma was turning away to leave.

“Oh no, you don’t get to run away from me again!” Tetsurou yelled. Actually _yelled._ Tetsurou hated yelling, hated being vicious and mean. But he couldn’t stop himself as he chased after Kenma, out of the shop, down the street, back towards the dorms.

“Say something! You’ve been gone for over ten years! But you never said anything, so now is your time to talk.”

Tetsurou didn’t think about the tears falling down Kenma’s face, didn’t think about how loud his voice was or how intimidating his larger figure was.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you leave? Why didn’t you say anything so I knew you were okay? Why didn’t you tell me on the first day of school?” Tetsurou’s voice choked on a sob, that he chose to ignore. “Am I just a joke to you?”

They were getting closer back to campus now. More people were on the sidewalks, and more people were watching them. Tetsurou tried not to think about, tried not to think about how it was almost harder to see Kenma cry now than it was to lose him as a child.

But Tetsurou wasn’t thinking about Kenma. He wasn’t thinking about how his anger might be frightening. He wasn’t thinking about how there was no way for Kenma to actually answer his questions while he was crying this hard.

He wasn’t thinking about how he might be pushing Kenma away from him; about how he might lose Kenma again.

Tetsurou lost himself in his anger. He doesn’t remember what he said. Doesn’t remember how long it took them to get back to the dorms. Doesn’t remember when he had started reaching to grab Kenma’s wrist, only to have it pulled jerkily out of his old.

He only came back to himself when someone came between him and Kenma, blocking him physically and his line of sight.

Tetsurou snapped out of his anger, focusing on Akaashi’s disappointed face.

“No, Akaashi, you don’t understand, he-” Tetsurou started, trying to push past Akaashi.

But Akaashi firmly held his ground, pushing back on Tetsurou’s chest. “No, Kuroo. I don’t care. That’s enough.”

Tetsurou groaned into the air before stomping away from Akaashi.

Akaashi took a deep breath to steady himself, before turning around to assist Kenma. Only when he looked, Kenma was already gone.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> How does Kenma know Kuroo? Will Kuroo remember him? What happens next?
> 
> Stay tuned to find out~~~~ (@*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑


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